"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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