You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
