Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
tell me about the fingering
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