Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I didn't shave. On purpose
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
