i need an iv and a liver transplant
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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