We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
