They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
