you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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