perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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