Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
