dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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