You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
