Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
