my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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