she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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