careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
