I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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