I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
