That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
