i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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