I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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