Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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