I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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