you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
