Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
