At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
