Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
