I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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