Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize