ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize