You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
