You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
