Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
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