im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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