and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Randomize
