At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
