..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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