I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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