My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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