Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
