Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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