piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
