This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if only i could text you this smell
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
