If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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