He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
People in love make me want to vomit
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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