I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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