Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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