i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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