One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
