everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
