So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
