A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
