so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
