alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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