Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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