i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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