The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize