hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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