Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
