just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
