after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
