Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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